PRESCHOOL. Dun dun duuuuun.
When last we left the deBaronGentzes, Ruby was a mere toddler, hanging out with the nanny/Bibi/Mommy during the day, and Tabby was just a baby (OK, she's still a baby -- not much changed there).
Well, people, the times they are achangin'.
Ruby started preschool on August 2, and has barely looked back. Today she ran in without even saying bye to Wade. I mean, seriously? Seriously? Three weeks ago, preschool was just something that we talked about (incessantly -- and read about and talked about more and more and more).
The first day was fine. They serve breakfast, lunch and after-nap snack there (all made fresh (including the bread) in their kitchen), so Ru happily sat down and served herself (with much help from the, uh, helper) some cereal and poured herself some milk. Then she sat down in for circle time and proceeded to get up and stand up in front of the teacher, in the middle of the circle, every time the teacher took something out to pass around. She stayed for half a day the first day. When I asked her how it went at the end of the day, she told me, "Well, I was kind of scared."
The second day was pretty much the same, though she stayed until after lunch that day. When I picked her up and asked her how it went, I got, "I was just a little bit scared today." By the third day, it was "I was a tiny, tiny bit scared today," and by day four I got, "I wasn't scared at all day!" So that made me feel amazing. (Of course she promptly caught a fever her second day and couldn't go back until Friday, so this was all broken up a little.)
Since then of course, finding out about her day has been like pulling teeth. What did you today? "I don't know." You don't know? "I don't remember." Did you play on the tire swing? "Yes." Did you have fun? "Yes." And so on.
So lately I've been trying Mad/Sad/Glad. OK Ruby, tell me one thing that made you mad today, one thing that made you sad, and one thing that made you glad. "I was just glad! I was only glad today!" This is said very emphatically with giant hand gestures. Of course this pleased me very much, that my little girl was having the best time EVER only a few weeks in to preschool. I felt quite sure that she was making friends left and right and was never ever feeling awkward or unsure. Because I'm smart... and in denial... like that.
We played the Mad/Sad/Gladgame farce for another week or so, until today, when I was asking her (read: torturing her) about her day: So who did you play with today? [Blank stare back at me in the rear view mirror.] Did you play with ... Laura? (Laura is a little girl she seems to have hit it off with, along with another girl named Lumi.) "Yes" [said while shaking her head, thumb in mouth so I can't really hear her]. Wait, so you did or you didn't play with Laura? "Well, Laura was playing in the house with Lumi and she told me no no no! Only two people in here you have to go."
OH. So how did that make you feel?
Thumb in mouth, shrugging.
Maybe a little sad?
"Yeah."
So we talked about how sometimes people can be cranky and not nice, even when they're our friends, and I pointed out that she does this too (she's currently in a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with my sister, to whom she is a total brat, and Wade, to whom she is a little bit nicer).
Then, with a bit more digging, she told me how she played with Gianna today, and something about a bear, and how when Ruby threw the bear up in the air and tried to catch it and said, "Eeeaw eeeaw!" (?) then Gianna laughed and she did it again and again.
So I guess it all comes out as a decent day, but who knows? I'm not quite sure which of these stories carried more emotional weight with her, being excluded from one group or making another kid laugh. I am trying SO HARD to not put my emotional bullshit on her -- my shyness, my insecurities, my social anxiety and inability to be comfortable with new situations -- but it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Being the mama to an infant is hard because it's so physical all the time, but you can pretty much rely on your body to figure it out -- baby's crying, your arms are already reaching out to pick her up before you've even thought about it; baby's hungry and rooting, you've got dinner right on your chest. Physically demanding, but there are a finite set of answers to a baby's problems. Toddlers? Preschool?? Sheeeeet. She and I are just two tiny things swimming in a wide ocean of possibility (both good and bad), and I'm trying to hold on to her for dear life so she doesn't drown -- but not so tight that she won't learn to swim on her own. It's all about degrees and nuance... and holy baby Jesus, it's exhausting. But kind of fun.
Tabby update to come.
Well, people, the times they are achangin'.
Ruby started preschool on August 2, and has barely looked back. Today she ran in without even saying bye to Wade. I mean, seriously? Seriously? Three weeks ago, preschool was just something that we talked about (incessantly -- and read about and talked about more and more and more).
The first day was fine. They serve breakfast, lunch and after-nap snack there (all made fresh (including the bread) in their kitchen), so Ru happily sat down and served herself (with much help from the, uh, helper) some cereal and poured herself some milk. Then she sat down in for circle time and proceeded to get up and stand up in front of the teacher, in the middle of the circle, every time the teacher took something out to pass around. She stayed for half a day the first day. When I asked her how it went at the end of the day, she told me, "Well, I was kind of scared."
The second day was pretty much the same, though she stayed until after lunch that day. When I picked her up and asked her how it went, I got, "I was just a little bit scared today." By the third day, it was "I was a tiny, tiny bit scared today," and by day four I got, "I wasn't scared at all day!" So that made me feel amazing. (Of course she promptly caught a fever her second day and couldn't go back until Friday, so this was all broken up a little.)
Since then of course, finding out about her day has been like pulling teeth. What did you today? "I don't know." You don't know? "I don't remember." Did you play on the tire swing? "Yes." Did you have fun? "Yes." And so on.
So lately I've been trying Mad/Sad/Glad. OK Ruby, tell me one thing that made you mad today, one thing that made you sad, and one thing that made you glad. "I was just glad! I was only glad today!" This is said very emphatically with giant hand gestures. Of course this pleased me very much, that my little girl was having the best time EVER only a few weeks in to preschool. I felt quite sure that she was making friends left and right and was never ever feeling awkward or unsure. Because I'm smart... and in denial... like that.
We played the Mad/Sad/Glad
OH. So how did that make you feel?
Thumb in mouth, shrugging.
Maybe a little sad?
"Yeah."
So we talked about how sometimes people can be cranky and not nice, even when they're our friends, and I pointed out that she does this too (she's currently in a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with my sister, to whom she is a total brat, and Wade, to whom she is a little bit nicer).
Then, with a bit more digging, she told me how she played with Gianna today, and something about a bear, and how when Ruby threw the bear up in the air and tried to catch it and said, "Eeeaw eeeaw!" (?) then Gianna laughed and she did it again and again.
So I guess it all comes out as a decent day, but who knows? I'm not quite sure which of these stories carried more emotional weight with her, being excluded from one group or making another kid laugh. I am trying SO HARD to not put my emotional bullshit on her -- my shyness, my insecurities, my social anxiety and inability to be comfortable with new situations -- but it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Being the mama to an infant is hard because it's so physical all the time, but you can pretty much rely on your body to figure it out -- baby's crying, your arms are already reaching out to pick her up before you've even thought about it; baby's hungry and rooting, you've got dinner right on your chest. Physically demanding, but there are a finite set of answers to a baby's problems. Toddlers? Preschool?? Sheeeeet. She and I are just two tiny things swimming in a wide ocean of possibility (both good and bad), and I'm trying to hold on to her for dear life so she doesn't drown -- but not so tight that she won't learn to swim on her own. It's all about degrees and nuance... and holy baby Jesus, it's exhausting. But kind of fun.
Tabby update to come.
posted by Michelle at 9:35 PM
3 Comments:
Hello!!!! How happy am I to find an update on the old preggers site? SO HAPPY! And also so pleased that Ru is still enjoying preschool despite some social ups and downs. That's like half of what school is all about though, right? Learning how to deal with other humans (aside from Mom and Dad, and poor Auntie Nikki, who all promise to love you regardless of what a cranker you may be). Oy. Thank the lord you are going through all these child-rearing stages ahead of me, so when Alex's time comes to head of to preschool and whatnot and I can just be like "Mich, what do I do now???" Looking forward to that Tabby update (pics please)! XOXO
Gosh, to have the problems that arise in preschool. Oh that's right, I do have those same problems. I get frustrated with the people around me and I can get very cranky. I also try to laugh when times get tense. I can't remember what I did at work when I go home, but part of that may be just blocking my frustration. So, all in all, maybe Robert Fulghum was right. Seriously, it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job and, after all, aren't we all just trying to keep our head above water? Thanks for posting.
i have missed you! :-)
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