There's always 2012.

Damn, I wish I'd thought of this! Candidates visit LA all the time, and Ruby is very photogenic; it would have been perfect. I'll just have to get pregnant again in about three years.

Ruby Tuesday (part sling).

Back in the day, there was this:
Now, there's this:
Dig R's hair. Smacks of awesome.

I upgraded slings because Ruby grew out of the supposedly impossible-to-outgrow Baby Pouch (biggest ripoff ever -- following the inventor's school of marketing, I'm going to package seven yards of fabric and sell it as a parachute). And Dr. Sears loves babies in slings, and I love Dr. Sears, so... voila: big baby in bigger fabric. But here's what they don't tell you about babywearing -- see that chubby hand grasping the camera strap? That little guy, Southpaw, was joined by its partner in crime, Righty-san, and the two grabbed at anything above my waist. Cell phone? Yanked out of my hand and put in mouth. Dishes I was washing? Clutched at with slippery paws, tried to put in mouth. Bed I was making? Sheets grabbed, twisted, put in mouth. Hmm, so maybe not so much with the babywearing during housework.

Some bad juju in the air.

Does anyone else feel like things have been a little off lately? Just in life? Like the cosmos just keeps stubbing it's toe?

• Heath Ledger died. That is a big bummer. I'm not sure why I was so affected by this, but there you have it. Depressing.
• Lulu tore a ligament in her knee. We were just walking right along, and then she was limping right along. We have a follow up with a rehab vet on Monday, but she might need surgery. And she has a heart murmur, so no one will do the surgery without a full cardiac work up. And the vet said that if it happened in one knee, it's just a matter of time til it happens in the other knee. And if you were here and said to me, "Man, I bet that's not cheap with a 150 lb. dog," I would slap you in the face for being so obvious.
  
• We're trying to get rid of our couch (a sleeper-sofa from Crate and Barrel -- it's gorgeous!), and NO ONE WILL TAKE IT. I mean, yes, there are some dog-drool stains on it, but really that's just wear and tear. I scrubbed the crap out of it last night. It's quite clean. For god's sake, even the Salvation Army said no! (They said that the Santa Monica shoppers that they get in their store are just buying the furniture to sell on eBay, and none of them would want it. What?! What kind of world are we living in?) I'm trying to give it away on craigslist, but we'll see. I'm currently sitting in a room that fits one couch and there are now 2.5 in here (our new mini-sectional was delivered today -- and yes, I'm a bitch for complaining about things when my life is going well enough to buy a new couch.)

There are other things, but I'm in too foul a mood to recount. Things are just off though. The milk of the universe has gone bad, and God needs to make a run to the corner store to get a fresh gallon.

UPDATE: La couch is gone. Long live la couch. (Some aging Venice hippies freecycled it from us.)

...And this little piggy took a bath.

My new favorite thing in all the world.

Ruby does this thing now that is AH-mazing. I'm sure I'll hate it soon -- especially once she gets her top teeth in -- but for now, it's the best. Best best best.

Frequently, when I hold her or if I'm nearby and someone else is holding her, she reaches her arms out to my face, and starts getting kind of pant-y and crazy-eyed. She brings my face in towards her... and aims my nose right into her mouth.



For a while, she would just hold my nose right there and we would stare at each other -- eyeball to eyeball, her smiling wide, me dying -- but now she's started nibbling a little. (She does this to Wade too, but she bites him hard.) Believe me when I tell you that it takes all my self-control not to pee my pants I'm laughing so hard. Wade says that the baby book says that this is just her exploring our faces with all of her senses, but I think it is sure proof of her burgeoning (and sharp) sense of humor.

I love her. I do.

10 things I learned in 2007.

Yes this is late. No I don't care.

1. Why parents move to the suburbs: Because in the city, it takes forever and a day to get to a Target, where you can do all your shopping at once; in the 'burbs, it only takes five minutes. As a new parent, your time and energy are very limited, so you want to live as near to a Target as possible. And in the suburbs, you are never more than five minutes in any direction from a Target.
   
   
2. Generally, you can tell if a diaper is wet by poking it. If it crinkles, it's still dry. If it's swollen and puffy, it's wet. I frequently poke my baby in the crotch.


3. There is no toy that a baby will like better than a tube of Boudreaux's Butt Paste.


4. I very much want to be a writer of children's books. I have some of it down on paper, there's just way more stuff in my head that needs to get out. Apparently I need someone to hold a gun to my head to motivate me to actually put pen to paper.


5. Unmedicated labor is both a pat-yourself-on-the-back accomplishment and totally no big whoop. And also, I'm not sure I would do it again. (Still working on that labor post by the way! Almost done!)


6. The reason that people have babies is because it is the ultimate ego boost. This little being loves you more than anyone else on the planet. And they do that each day more than the last. They're better than drugs.
   
   
7. Babies are completely genuine. There's no sarcasm, no irony, no pretense in their reactions. They have no hidden motives. When they smile at you or laugh, it's because you honestly please them, not because they're being polite or don't want to hurt your feelings. That is so damn rare in life, isn't it?
   
   
8. You know how sometimes the two plies in toilet paper gets off-set? Like, instead of the two plies being perforated in the same place, one is a half-panel off? I always thought that was a manufacturing defect. But no! If you unwind the outer ply, they'll lay right again, one on top of the other, exact and perfect. Mystery solved.
   
   
9. There must be some direct relation to babies being born and increased air travel. Like, in July, when most babies are born, are more plane tickets sold too? Lord knows Ruby alone has done gangbusters business for American Airlines.
   
   
10. Massages and sleep consultations: the two best gifts for new moms and moms to be.

These are the people (places and things) in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood, in my neigh-bor-hoooood...

This has nothing to do with anything, I just think it's interesting.

When Wade and I moved back to LA, we didn't know exactly where we wanted to live -- and as a result of our lack of strategy, we ended up moving to a crap-ass duplex in a less-than-desirable part of town. Oh sure, there was a veneer of cute-place-ness over it, but after living there for a couple months, we were pretty sure it had been built over an Indian burial ground (not really, but it did have hordes of black widow spiders, inside and out -- creepy, right?).

So we finessed our game plan and moved -- to Westwood. Our location is ideal: we both live within 1.5 miles of our jobs (Wade even walks to work sometimes -- who in LA can say that?), we're right by a really nice park, and we're within walking distance of Westwood Village, which houses tons of restaurants, movie theaters, and shops. One other totally unplanned perk: Westwood is the heart of the Persian community in LA. Crazy! Salaam, honey, I'm home!

A few examples:

Ketab means book; this is a book store.

And finally: Let your angoshts do the rahraftaning!

Joy.

Extreme close-up!

People, we have chompers.

X-Mas break, part 3.

A few more pictures that I didn't have last time...

Nana and Ruby (she knit that hat for Ruby!)

Viejo and Ruby

Mimi and Ruby

Me and Lacey

And finally, Lorna and Pat (notice Granpa in the background -- really Mike, bunny ears? Ruby told me that she finds your shenanigans immature.)

Who has two thumbs and is now feeling refreshed, recharged, and rarin' to go?

This guy! [points at self with thumbs]

Hello my pets! I've just returned from the Lake Winnipesaukee of the mind -- as in, I took a vacation, a vacation from my problems. Turns out that a vacation from my problems starts with a trip to San Antonio to have Ruby meet all her Texas kin and includes playing at the beach with my mom and baby. Impulsive and glorious. True, there was the storm of the century this weekend to contend with, but it simply left the LA-area looking a bit refreshed (insert face-lift joke here) instead of all tired and brown like it usually does.

So we went to Texas, and it was great and lovely and very Christmassy and uber-uber-relaxing just like always, but with bonus babysitters this time. Wade and I would wake up with Ruby every morning, change her, feed her, and then hand her off to Nonnie Pat for playtime while we went back to sleep for another hour or two. It was as if someone had magically extended the night for us. Speaking of Rubylicious...

• She traveled like a champ. On the way there, there was minimal sleeping, but also minimal fussing. On the way home though, there was a two hour nap! (I brought the Boppy, so she slept all snugged up on that -- crowded yes, but also comfy.) Of course, said nap only came after the worlds most enormous, stinkiest poop. It was so messy that we had to change her entire outfit. While we got her cleaned up, she just stood there (with our help) on the pleather seat, naked but for her mary-jane socks, looking very pleased with herself at 35,000 feet.
• You want the tooth? You want the tooth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH! Teeth, actually. Two of them, on the bottom, cute as pumpkins. I don't know if I have pictures that display them to their optimal cuteness (good thing too -- your retinas might melt), but I'm sure you'll see them in subsequent pictures. And to answer your question, no it doesn't hurt. Yet. I'm more worried about when the upper set comes in and she has sharp things coming at my sensitive parts from opposing directions.
• When giving her Eskimo kisses the other day, she actually rubbed her nose back at mine. TWICE!
• We can't prove it, but the other day when we said "Da da da da da," we both heard a "adada" back. No it doesn't mean anything yet, but still... STILL. Nuts. Nuts nuts nuts.
• She's (still) enormous. She weighed in at 20 lbs. and measured 27" last month at this time. That's about the 99th and 90th percentiles for a six-month old, respectively. I need to start using her to do bicep curls to work off that post-holiday flab.
• We've ventured out of the Land of the Breast and into Solid World. We started with yams (see below). Her first meal was like Britney's trip to the hospital this weekend -- flashbulbs going off like crazy. We had to ask the paparazzi to stop for a few minutes so she could finish her meal without going blind. Unfortunately, the yams led to a yam rash (or a yash as we called it), so we backtracked to the safe route and tried rice cereal mixed with breast milk, which of course she loved. I think it would be like drinking hot cocoa all your life and then discovering a Hershey's bar. Next came peas, which I effed up. Did you know they're frozen fresh? As in uncooked? So you can't just, say, let them defrost and then put them in a food mill? After having the cooked, smooth, pureed yams and then runny rice cereal-- raw, milled, unsmooth peas were not a hit. Like, terrible-face, gagging not a hit. You learns something new everyday, doncha? (Now we're on applesauce -- organic, but pre-made. I can't eff up pre-made applesauce. She digs it, though it's the tiniest bit tart and the faces she's making are hilarious; she smiles and then puckers. It must be blowing her mind, all these new tastes.)
• The nanny started today! We hired Tasha, a nursing student, who is probably burning the house down with her neglected crack pipe great with Ruby and totally fun and normal. The next best thing to being there is hiring someone who I can boss around without compunction.

More on the rest of life later. Pictures of Dwight Schrube for now. I know why you check this site.

Have baby, will travel. (PS If you can help it, never travel anything called "Express" with a baby. Not a lot of room in those toy planes.)
Christmas Day at the great-grandparents.

A price tag? For me? Oh you shouldn't have. Really? My very own price tag with pants attached?

Not of Ruby, but a classic nonetheless. This is what Christmas morning looks like in Texas. I may be in with the Persian Mafia, but you don't want to mess with Wade's side of the family.

Yamstock '07.

Grandpa and the Rubes. Like Pinky and the Brain, only Ruby's smarter.

A few pictures of the kinfolk

And last but not least -- isn't she looking so grown up? I can't stand it. I CAN'T STAND IT!